Written By: DMG Written By: DMG
Director: Howie Dewin
Producer: Alan Smitty
Date Released: April 20, 2015
Pinko Brainweis as Mel
Jacques M. Felin as Floyd
L. Lean Burnside as Alex
E.B. Buxxner as Joe
Richard Cymbals as Jordan
Leona L. Sander as Manda
Howie Dewin as Rob
Mary Haddilam as Sam
Rating = 0/5 Graves
***May contain some spoilers
Floyd and Mel recently came from their grandparent’s funeral with their mother believing their grandparents had been murdered. As a result, Floyd and Mel are tasked with taking care of their grandparent’s house while their mother takes care of the will. When they are left at the house, Mel decides to throw a party but they are unaware that there is a killer llama on the loose.
There are some scenes which contain blood (at least what’s supposed to be blood). The low budget horror comedy creates blood scenes which closely resembles colored water coming from a hose. There is another scene in which one character (Trent) is sprayed with a green substance causing him to turn into a llama himself. He is later seen laying furry llama eggs (no I’m not kidding). For you animal lovers, no llamas were hurt during the production of this film. In fact, there was a comfort llama for the main llama along with a llama whisperer and a llama wrangler. So, the llama was taken well care of.
The Grave Review
Of every animal to choose from, why a llama? We have seen sharks, anacondas and rabid dogs which make sense since these animals are prone to potentially being dangerous. But all llamas want to do is eat and lay around. Llamageddon attempts to take a care-free animal and slap some red CGI infused eyes giving it the impression that it is now evil. The concept is both funny and a little sad.
The acting is beyond atrocious and is no better than a high school film project. The film quality was as good as an IPhone 6 (yea I said it) and the post-production edits didn’t help either. Between the cut scenes and the poor transitions, one cannot wonder if the director intended to make every scene awkward to the point where you have to laugh. There are even scenes where the camera zooms in on the lips of people as they make gross gestures with their tongue while jazz music plays in the background. Words cannot describe what I just saw. I really just wasted an hour and nine minutes of my life.
As to the visuals, much of the props were something to be desired. Unfortunately, the props were given no thought whatsoever. At a certain point, one guy picks up what is supposed to be a “space stick” which is basically a bat with aluminum foil wrapped around it. There was some CGI incorporated into the film where people are getting electrocuted or the llama is shooting lasers from it’s eyes. The most comical part of the llama is that the llama is able to punch people, open doors and drag them away.
If I had to say one nice thing about this film then I would say that the animated shorts were well made. Otherwise, that is all.
Why you would go to such great lengths to produce and create this film is beyond our understanding. Certainly getting someone to pilot a helicopter, getting permissions from Busch’s beer and using other llama’s to comfort the Star llama wasn’t a simple task. In many respects, it was probably a waste of time and money.
So is Llamagedon a film you should see? No, but if you just want some noise in the background and you want to see a well-behaved llama on screen, then give it a shot. For everyone else, don’t waste your time.
For the foregoing reasons, Grave Reviews gives Llamageddon (2015) zero out of five graves.
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