My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) Movie Review
Written By: TJ
Edited By: Grave Reviews Staff
Director: Patrick Lussier
Producers: Jack Murray
Writers: Todd Farmer, Zane Smith
Date Released: January 16, 2009
Jensen Ackles as Tom Hanniger
Jaime King as Sarah Palmer
Kerr Smith as Axel Palmer
Tom Atkins as Sheriff Jim Burke
Edi Gathegi as Deputy Martin
Kevin Tighe as Ben Foley
Megan Boone as Megan
Betsy Rue as Irene
Rating: 3/5 Graves
***May contain some spoilers***
After a Valentine massacre that claimed 22 lives happens in their mining property, Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) vanishes from the town leaving his girlfriend, Sarah (Jaime King) wondering what really happened to him. Now, ten years later, Tom comes back just to sell the mine but Sarah changes his mind to stay and face his fears. When Tom decides to follow Sarah’s advice, a series of killings happen again in the town. Deeply disturbed by these events, Tom believes that the person who committed the massacre ten years ago is the same one responsible for what’s happening now. Meanwhile, Sarah’s husband, Sheriff Axel (Kerr Smith) has always been jealous of the relationship between his wife and Tom, and so he does everything just to pin down Tom as the main suspect of the crimes.
My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) reeks with blood, guts, and nudity that truly represent a slasher genre. It delivers a lot of seriously nasty gore while splattering outrageous amount of blood and guts in three-dimensional effect making this substandard flick a gorehound’s wet dream. I am absolutely amazed by how the makeup and prosthetics play an important role in creating a realistic execution of psychotic murders. However, the ridiculous results of bad editing seem to drag down the supposedly good effects that were incorporated. The scene that strongly depicts this contradiction is when the killer murders a girl by planting a shovel between her lips, making the upper head separate from the rest of her body. This is an interesting way of killing, but the editing just failed on showing the head resting on the shovel authentically. For the most part nonetheless, My Bloody Valentine will surely satisfy your bloodlust as it shows competent gory details from start to finish.
The Grave Review
My Bloody Valentine 3D is a remake of the original film bearing the same title in 1981. Garnering positive reviews, director and co-editor Patrick Lussier plays it well and takes back his viewers to the full-pledged throwback to the golden age of slasher films.
My Bloody Valentine doesn’t have much to offer but it sure has a nice setting which includes a creepy mining area and a peaceful-looking town. The cinematography adds to the beauty and creepiness of the film as a whole by emphasizing both. The film gives a unique opening scene by showing a series of news stories about the Valentine massacre and amazes us with drone shots emhancing the aesthetic aspect of the film. Knowing that it was shown in cinemas with 3D glasses must have been quite an experience.
I am humbled to say that for the first time after watching a lot of slasher movies, My Bloody Valentine’s story had me hooked by it. Most of slasher film remakes are bland and not given much importance in order to focus more on teenage knickknacks and brutal killings. But this film will have you guessing until the finale as it throws red herrings and little clues as to the real identity of the killer. It plays well with the “mystery” element implying that everyone can be the suspect. However, it wasn’t clearly explained why the Valentine massacre happened in the first place and what was the real intent of the killer. Might seem like a tiny mistake but it can make a huge impact for viewers who pay attention.
The cast are lovable especially the three main roles. Ackles’ Tom and Smith’s Axel are two round characters who change throughout their character arc and that really helped in diverting the pinpoint towards identifying the real killer. I personally love Jensen Ackles for giving such a convincing performance and for being a sight for sore eyes. Jaime King surprised me by her good-natured role in this film because I first came to know her in her bitchy role in 2004’s comedy movie White Chicks. There may be a problem with the dialogues as they are not quite strong enough but it supports the idea of guessing game of the film.
A film titled “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is not something you’d think of as a high-end horror genre. It’s a cheesy mindless movie, and rather than trying to overcome this, the production acknowledges its inherent gracelessness then owns it. It embraces its standards and becomes something more than what it actually is. The film never tries for anything it’s not, and in doing so, it ultimately becomes something it shouldn’t be: fun.
For the foregoing reasons, Grave Reviews gives My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009) four graves out of five graves.
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